Retaliation (not a comic)

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with 27 comments

Retaliation is not a comic. It is a game.

Retaliation is collaborative and on going.  There is no real goal or purpose involved with Retaliation.  We aren’t trying to make money or win any awards.  We just want an excuse to be creative and immature.

The Rules:

  • one full page per turn.
  • massive events can only be set in motion. for example you may not push the button AND destroy the universe in one turn.  You may only push the button.  Your opponent should be given a chance to react.
  • be creative. nuclear bombs, invincibility shields and excessive references to pop culture are boring and uninspired.  You’re better than that.
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Written by retaliationnotacomic

August 7, 2008 at 3:35 pm

27 Responses

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  1. Rule #4 Only two colors. Black and blood red.

    Rule #5 Cornelius is a momma’s boy. Kill him at all cost.

    Rule #6 Moonpuppy is the platonic ideal of beauty, grace, and manliness. Bow down and worship his glory!

    mistercrackers

    August 20, 2008 at 10:58 am

  2. Rule #7 Moonpuppy is made of Muck-a-Muck aka carefully fermented cosmic yak poo.

    Rule #8 I hope you die.

    schmacklab

    August 20, 2008 at 11:29 am

  3. Rule #9 The only reason Cornelius has horns is so that he can pick his but while holding a bag a groceries.

    mistercrackers

    August 20, 2008 at 8:36 pm

  4. Rule #10 The only reason Moonpuppy has a coat hanger above his head is so he has a place to hang his s+m gear.

    schmacklab

    August 20, 2008 at 9:08 pm

  5. Rule #11 The only reason Cornelius doesn’t have a coat hanger above his head is because his mom doesn’t like it when he uses s+m gear on her.

    mistercrackers

    August 21, 2008 at 12:39 am

  6. Rule #12 Moonpuppy has heart worms.

    schmacklab

    August 21, 2008 at 11:38 am

  7. Rule #13 Cornelius eats heart worms.

    mistercrackers

    August 25, 2008 at 11:26 pm

  8. Rule #14 Cornelius does not eat Moonpuppy’s heartworms. Moonpuppy can keep his stupid heartworms.

    schmacklab

    August 26, 2008 at 12:50 am

  9. Rule #15 Never draw Cornelius with a backbone because he doesn’t have one.

    mistercrackers

    August 31, 2008 at 6:43 pm

  10. Rule #16 Never draw Moonpuppy with a sack. His human decided he was a bit aggressive last year and now, well… he’s a much nicer puppy.

    schmacklab

    August 31, 2008 at 8:37 pm

  11. Rule #17 Don’t draw a sack on Cornelius either. Moonpuppy scared him so bad back in game #2 that they’ve been internal ever since.

    mistercrackers

    September 1, 2008 at 10:40 am

  12. Rule#18 Don’t invite Moonpuppy over, he isn’t house broken.

    schmacklab

    September 1, 2008 at 10:53 pm

  13. Rule #19 The world knows no wrath like a puppy untamed.

    Rule #20 Cornelius smells like old-people farts.

    Rule #21 Cornelius has parasites.

    Rule #22 Cornelius is goiter.

    Rule #23 Cornelius’ horns rot with ring worm and athlete’s foot.

    Rule #24 Cornelius’s children inherited all of the grotesque features inherent in Cornelius.

    Rule #25 The Children of Cornelius have ingrown horns that poke their brains and tickle their inner ears.

    Rule #26 Cornelius’s manhood fell off in a freak shellfish shucking incident.

    Rule #27 Cornelius isn’t made from corn; he made from maggoty bread.

    Rule #28 Moonpuppy eats Cornelius Flakes for breakfast.

    Rule #29 Cornelius needs a cold shower… In HYDROCHLORIC ACID!!!!!!!! Ha HA HA HAHAhA hA HA H A!!!!!!!!!

    Rule #30 Poop stinks, but Cornelius smells it.

    Rule #31 Cornelius’ petty attacks are but flies around a cow’s posterior.

    Rule #32 Cornelius fights like a girlie girl.

    Rule #33 Cornelius wets his bed like a girlie girl.

    Rule #34 Cornelius is a girlie girl.

    Rule #35 Cornelius is a qweef that sounds like this: Whoopie!

    Rule #36 Cornelius is the annoying invisible prickle that situates itself
    between the cotton strands of your underwear directly in front of
    one’s strategics that can never be removed!!!!!

    Rule #37 Cornelius is made from the back parts of underwear. No wonder he keeps hearing “whoopie” all the time.

    Rule #38 Cornelius has poop for brains.

    Rule #39 Cornelius has black fungusy toenails.

    Rule #40 Be sure to draw the scar above Cornelius’ left eye he got from falling from a Ferris wheel in an ill-fated attempt to impress Gertrude, the neighborhood freak of nature.

    Rule #41 Cornelius is an insensitive prick…ly horned non-demon.

    Rule #42 Cornelius is a ninny.

    Rule #43 Cornelius cries himself to sleep at night.

    mistercrackers

    September 3, 2008 at 11:36 pm

  14. Rule #44 Moonpuppy has the following parasites:

    * Acanthocephala
    * Ascariasis (roundworms)
    * Cestoda (tapeworms) including: Taenia saginata (human beef tapeworm), Taenia solium (human pork tapeworm), Diphyllobothrium latum (fish tapeworm) and Echinococcosis (hydatid tapeworm)
    * Clonorchis sinensis (the Chinese liver fluke)
    * Dracunculus medinensis (Guinea Worm)
    * Enterobius vermicularis (pinworm)
    * Filariasis
    * Hookworm
    * Loa loa
    * Onchocerciasis (river blindness)
    * Schistosomiasis
    * Strongyloides stercoralis
    * Toxocara canis (dog roundworm)
    * Trichinella
    * Whipworm
    * pop soli- a worm to receive blood from humans
    * Ringworm
    * Gymnosporangium and other rusts
    * Pyrenophora teres
    * Cordyceps
    * Balantidium coli (the only ciliated protozoan to infect humans)
    * Giardia lamblia (the most common intestinal protozoan in the United States)
    * Trichomonas vaginalis
    * Naegleria fowleri (facultative parasite causing amoebic meningitis)
    * Entamoeba histolytica (causes Amebiasis, common in developing countries)
    * Kinetoplastid protists of the Trypanosoma and Leishmania genera (sleeping sickness, Chagas disease and leishmania)
    * Apicomplexan parasites including “Plasmodium” (malaria), “Toxoplasma” (toxoplasmosis), and “Cryptosporidia” (cryptosporidiosis)
    * Broomrape
    * Cuscuta
    * Mistletoe
    * Strangler Fig
    * Santalum, hemi-parasitic. (Sandalwoods and Quandongs)
    * Toothwort
    * The wood rose, Dactylanthus taylorii
    * Acarina (Ticks, some mites)
    o Varroa destructor
    * Cymothoa exigua
    * Hippoboscoidea
    o Tsetse fly
    o Lipoptena
    o Sheep Keds and relatives)
    * Oestridae (bot flies)
    o Human bot fly
    * Phthiraptera (Lice)
    o Body louse
    o Crab louse
    o Head louse
    * Siphonaptera (Fleas)
    * Tantulocarida
    * Hirudinea (some leeches)
    * Candiru (Vampire fish of Brazil, really a facultative parasite)
    * Lampreys

    schmacklab

    September 4, 2008 at 12:24 am

  15. Rule #45 Moonpuppy needs to cook his food more thoroughly… and what the @#$^% is “broomrape”????????

    Rule #46 Cornelius licks the brown spots in other people’s underwear.

    mistercrackers

    September 4, 2008 at 9:36 am

  16. Rule #47 Moonpuppy has gingivitis. And he LIKES it!

    schmacklab

    September 4, 2008 at 9:59 am

  17. Rule #48 Cornelius has stains on his teeth (See rule #46).

    mistercrackers

    September 4, 2008 at 3:47 pm

  18. Rule #49 Moonpuppy is a stupid name and everyone thinks so. Especially his mom who only named him that because a patient don’t the hall bet her she wouldn’t.

    schmacklab

    September 4, 2008 at 7:03 pm

  19. Rule #50 Cornelius stores meat in his pants because he’s been self conscious about the size of his little boy manhood.

    mistercrackers

    September 6, 2008 at 8:34 pm

  20. Rule #51 Cornelius says, “You, you shut UP!!!! You BE QUIET!!! I do NOT have a… JUST SHUTUP!!!”

    schmacklab

    September 7, 2008 at 7:21 am

  21. Rule #52 Cornelius’ mom is so stupid…

    …it takes her two hours to watch 60 Minutes.

    …she asked for a refund on a jigsaw puzzle complaining it was broken.

    …she got locked in the Quickie Mart and nearly starved to death.

    …I found her peaking over a glass wall to see what was on the other side.

    mistercrackers

    September 8, 2008 at 4:28 pm

  22. Rule #53 Cornelius’ mom is so poor…

    …that she told Cornelius to eat his cornflakes with a fork to save milk.

    …each night she goes to KFC to lick other folk’s fingers.

    …she hangs the Toilet paper out to dry.

    mistercrackers

    September 8, 2008 at 4:35 pm

  23. Rule #54 Moonpuppy sold his kidneys on the black market to buy another Pink Power Ranger doll.

    schmacklab

    September 11, 2008 at 1:23 am

  24. Rule #54 Cornelius wears Pink Power Ranger panties.

    mistercrackers

    September 12, 2008 at 12:56 am

  25. Rule #56 Moonpuppy can’t count.

    schmacklab

    September 12, 2008 at 9:16 am

  26. Cornelius can’t poop.

    mistercrackers

    March 3, 2009 at 10:23 am

  27. at least it’s not a rule.

    schmacklab

    March 3, 2009 at 10:36 am


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